Most of us heard praise in the form of judging as we grew up. We tend to pass on what we experience because that is what we know best. Giving praise an “overhaul” will give your children a better understanding of the impact of their actions and what values they are honoring. Ultimately it’s all about values, since that is what transforms us into responsible human beings.
Take a look and try on your favorite – or transform one of your own and share it here.
JUDGE – “Good girl for waiting quietly.” NOTICE – “You’re waiting. You know your turn will come.”
JUDGE – “Great job.” NOTICE – “You did it. You put the blocks in the basket.”
JUDGE – “I like the way you behaved yourself.” NOTICE – “You stayed with me in the store. That was helpful.”
NOTICING let’s children own their accomplishments and internalize the values. JUDGING establishes an external view of behavior. When we internalize values, they stay with us and help guide us – even when no one is watching. Very powerful!
Learn more about Conscious Discipline® by checking out our Empowered Parenting class (senderspediatrics.com) and by checking out consciousdiscipline.com.