And that’s hard as a parent. If only we knew for sure what the right answer was in any given situation, we would follow it. Wouldn’t we? Many decisions are not so clear. When children are little, the ambiguity may be whether to let children sleep with us or in their own beds, be free to express their feelings or learn to be more polite. As they get older, it may be whether they should be involved in structured activities or have more free time, how much T.V. or perhaps none, be completely responsible for their schoolwork or be helped as they learn to be more organized. And the question as to what is “right” grows with the child (and the hormones).
There is no crystal ball – but there is something much better: your willingness to jump into the adventure. Our culture has taught us to look for the guarantee and children don’t come with that. However, parenting is guaranteed to get messy, be frustrating, and provide adults with the most meaningful, delightful moments possible. Those moments come all the time. Sometimes they get lost amidst the everyday pressures of parenting. So here are a few simple guidelines.
1. Love you child – no matter what.
2. Trust your decisions AND be ready to back up and try it differently.
3. Relax. Laugh.
Raising children is serious business. They are way too precious to take their upbringing lightly. However, to relax into the adventure and find humor along the way IS part of their upbringing. It is the balance of the challenge and the sheer delight that sees us through.